Bringing someone with you.

People remember about a fifth of what they are told in an appointment, and less when the news is significant. A second person in the room roughly doubles that, but only if you have agreed what they are there to do.

Give them one job

The most useful job is writing, not talking. Someone taking down what was said, in the order it was said, is worth more than a second person asking questions. It also frees you to listen instead of trying to hold everything in your head.

If you are recording the visit anyway, their job becomes catching what the recording will not: the thing the consultant pointed at, the leaflet handed over, the name of the nurse to ring.

Agree the questions beforehand

Ten minutes in the car park is enough. Three questions, in order, and who asks them. Without that, the questions arrive at the wrong moment or not at all.

Say who they are, once

At the start: this is my daughter, she is helping me keep track. It takes four seconds and it settles the room. Clinicians are used to it.

Afterwards, compare notes before you separate

You will have heard different things. Ten minutes in the corridor while it is fresh catches most of the gap, and it is far easier than reconstructing it by phone that evening.

If nobody can come

A recording does most of this on its own. Put the phone on the table, be present for the conversation, and read it back at home when you are not trying to listen and remember at the same time.